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The doll chatter, some fic, and general rambling in this journal is friends-only. If you'd like to get to know me or read some more of my fic, just comment somewhere and I'd be glad to friend you. :)

Current Fic Master Post
i choose crazy
This is a master post for all the current/recent/on-going fic posted on this journal. (If you're looking for older/abandoned/ancient fic, click here. If you're looking for the port_carmila 'verse master post, click here.)

What you might find here:

Genres: Paranormal/urban fantasy, f/f romance, m/m romance, m/m/m romance, contemporary, humour, gen, gay fiction, les fiction, genderqueer/transgender fiction/romance.
Format: Complete short stories, ficlets, one-shots, serials.
Rating: Anywhere from PG/M to R.
Content: Sex at times, vampires, zombies, zombie and/or vampire shoot-outs, some violence, lots of craziness, lots of sweetness, humour, quirky characters, Australian regionalisms. I do tend to write dialogue and close third narration that involves swearing, so if this annoys you, I recommend you don't read my stories.
Length: I tend to short stories or short chapters. Complete stories range from 1k to 15k in length. Chapters tend to stay under the 2k mark.

What I tend to write:

Stories that tend to the funny or witty, sometimes often verging into crack territory. Can be sweet enough to cause cavities and a craving for salt. Once I get hooked onto a set of characters I tend to keep writing more for them, so chances are if you're reading a complete story, there is, or will be, more written about those characters. (Willpower, I do not have it.) I also like writing stories that cross the line between a chaptered serial, and a series of short stories. I'm not only a slash writer, so expect me to write about anything that comes under the queer umbrella. The world needs more femmeslash, transgender and GQ fic - and more well-written vulva-centric erotica.

Most fic isn't friends locked, but I'm more than happy to friend you if you'd like to read something that is. (Most of the time, it's just f'locked becuase it's a quick oneshot or in need of work...)

Cheers to my flist for all their help, comments, feedback, advice, and general awesomeness!

Cut for list...Collapse )

You Just Don't: The Introduction
Title: The Introduction
Series: You Just Don't Want to Live Next Door to One
Characters: Parker/Raif
Genre: Paranormal, romance, gay fiction, transgender fiction
Status: WIP
Chapter Rating: M
Content: More hints, introductions, swearing, some blood/vomit, the need to clean a bathroom, poison plots in action, justifiable acts of violence with footwear
Length: 5, 520 words
Summary: It's only natural to go to meet your new neighbour with poisoned scones … okay, at least Parker thinks it's only natural to want to get to know everything about his new neighbour, right? Who wouldn't want to know just why he looks the closest thing to dead and has a strange intolerance for banana splits? And why is Raif so vague on the whole thing anyway - and so insistent on refusing help?

Master Post | 1: The Arrival | 3: The Mistake | [First Draft: Chapter Two | Chapter Three]

AN: The new version of The Introduction comprises both chapters two and three of the old version, in case anyone's interested or is getting confused. This flows better, IMO - and also gets rid of that single clunky three-word chapter title!

Thank you so much to everyone who commented on the last, especially mee_eep, who hit me with some major, major flattery. I'm glad you're all so enthusiastic about the re-write, especially because there's some things here I've been wanting to change – some things I can express so much better since I began writing this (the segues between scenes need so much improving), and some little clarifications/observations/reactions that make Georgina and Parker's experiences as queer characters so much more real.

(This will probably be my only entry for the Month of Writing About Awesome Monsters, so ... here you go? *looks bashful*)

The man and his dog, the one from across the drive, the grandmother, the ... lady ... they all brought scones, and jam, and ... well.Collapse )

You Just Don't: The Arrival
vampires are make believe
Title: The Arrival
Series: You Just Don't Want to Live Next Door to One
Characters: Parker/Raif, Georgina
Genre: Paranormal, romance, gay fiction, transgender fiction
Status: WIP
Chapter Rating: M
Content: References to the death of the previous occupant of the flat, Georgina, maiden-hair ferns, cookery gone wrong, potential poison plots, suspicious phone calls, tantalising hints about Raif and vampirism, swearing, sexual references…
Length: 3, 978 words
Summary: It's only natural to be a little curious about the arrival of a brand new neighbour. Parker thinks it's probably not natural to hatch a plan to poison the poor man before he's even had a chance to settle in, though. Raif, meanwhile, has his doubts on whether it's natural for cute guys to spy on you through their lounge-room window - but he'll take spying over threatening phone calls any day of the week…

Master Post | 2: The Introduction | [First Draft: Chapter One]

AN: Look familiar, anyone? :)

A strange and odd coincidence of the last few weeks is that they've given me both unintended research and inspiration for continuing these guys' story. However. My writing has improved a tad since I first posted this in September 2009. I'm not in love with the choppy chapters, I think the beginning in particular needs a fair bit of fleshing out, and the major reason why I came to a grinding halt was the fact that there's some chapters ahead that can't be told through Parker's POV, but I loathe the idea of introducing a new POV for only one or two scenes.

These are, however, characters I adore, and a story that's really important to me to tell right now. Since I'm that annoying perfectionist, this is getting a pretty severe rewrite in places to create more fleshed-out chapters (as opposed to scenes) and the introduction of Raif as a narrator (I really am happiest writing novels with a duelling narrative), which should be a lot of fun. The plot and/or major events aren't going to change, just the packaging, so reading the new versions isn't required. That said, this is just over 3k words longer than the old version, so...

There were possible reasons, of course: a new neighbour pulling a joke, someone from VAL testing him to see how he reacted in the field, someone dialling the wrong number...Collapse )

No. Just no.
don't act straight in public
From a straight female m/m author's bio in the back of the book I just finished:

[author name]'s husband is adorably confused by her love of reading and writing about man lurve, but he's always been a suportive sort. Just don't ask him to read it. Her two school-aged daughters think it's cool Mom's a writer, but aren't clear on why they can't tell Gramma about it.

Fuck. Off. This is not a cute, endearing quote. This is hurtful shit. This is so hurtful I'm writing this post despite my hands right now, because this attitude can't go unchallenged.

You do know that you are writing about queer people, that queer people will read your work, and see this bullshit, see the idea that our stories (that you have co-opted because cis gay sex is 'hot') are something that need to be kept secret from your precious mother. Do you not realise what a mocking travesty this makes of the distress, difficulty and depression that comes with being closeted and coming out, of being loathed and misunderstood by your family and friends? That it makes queer people - gay cis men, because the rest of us don't fucking exist in m/m, or much outside it - all about straight people's entertainment? That it's questionable or non-general entertainment at that?

Poor, poor straight people who worry about who they tell in confessing to writing m/m fiction. My heart bleeds for them. Damn, if that was the worst of the problems I faced in being queer, I'd be laughing.

For fuck's sake, think about what you're saying. Think about every queer person who has attempted or comitted suicide, struggled with isolation or depression, endured harassment or bashing at school/work/home - and if you still can't find the courage to admit that you write stories about gay men (still bleeding for you, not), at least do your queer readers a favour by omitting this kind of bullshit from your bio.

(I've come across this attitude in bios and discussion in the m/m fiction community a good few times in the last week. Yes, I'm angry.)

Fic: The Fine Art of Patience
Title: The Fine Art of Patience
Fandom: Saskia/Frogs/Meep/Meridae/Charis's Wizard's World
Genre: Fantasy, cats, gen, school-fic
Status: Oneshot, complete
Rating: M
Content: Non-explicit references to cats reading porn, cats taking over the world, cats being cats, cats being arrogant, cats being familiars. Please note that familiars can shapeshift and have relationships with humans, and the reverse.
Length: 991 words
Summary: Despite the fact that Regis' new class of kittens did not look terribly prepossessing, he had no doubt that he could impart onto them the vast and ancient wisdom of feline familiars.
Disclaimer: None of this madness is mine. The references to particular second-litter kittens aren't mine. It is, however, rather like fleas – extremely contagious.

AN: A while back Charis tried to bring me over to the dark side. That attempt failed, but in the meantime, kitten!fic has been exploding over my flist, and recuperating me has been reading. The problem was that I started wondering how their sex-obsessed kittens could ever become aloof cats/familiars, and decided that one of their classes at school had to involve feline instruction of some kind. There went my hand spoons over the last week!

I don't think this fits into the WW canon, so please consider this fanfic, as well as my attempt at thanking you all in kind for emailing me your fics for my ereader, and keeping me entertained over these many past weeks. I am so grateful, and love you all like crazy.

(And – much hugs and sympathy to Saskia. I'm sure Empress will be schooling new recruits in heaven. *glomps*)

This will make no sense to anyone who hasn't read some of the WW fics, but, y'know, cats.Collapse )

Went to the hand therapist today. I have a brace for my thumb, because I've inflamed the tendon. I've also got serious tendon inflamation to my middle finger, and I'll need to get something to brace/splint that as well on Wednesday, because OMG, I can't handle the pain it's now giving me. (Last night I was back to 'finding it hard to sleep' levels of pain, ugh.) So, I guess this is my farewell the internets notice for another period of time, because I need to rest my finger, which means not typing, and I can't do much typing on my left wrist, because it's already weak and useless as is, and I've got a high risk of screwing it up anyway even if I do whatever I can to rest both. And then there's work. :(

Oh, and my rash isn't getting better (both GP and hand therapist think it's quite bizzare) and it also means that we can't splint my right hand properly because a hard-plastic splint is going to irritate it and seriously, this just blows.

I'll probably do a quick mini update every fortnight or so, but I don't know when I'll be back to writing/commenting again. Hopefully this'll only be a 4-6 week healing job and not three months in a splint like last time. Cross fingers?

*hugs everyone*

Fic: An Ass of You and Me
so what
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Hey, why don't you 'splain to us queers on the internet?
not funny
I was reading something online that got me article-surfing (for me these days, social justice/privilege/queer/feminist/disability blogs are the new TV Tropes, especially when I'm sick and can't make myself pay attention to fiction - yes, I'm weird like that) and since I was a little bothered by the lack of good 101s on the subject of straight-splaining (best one's here, although it's covered in general by the always awesome Derailing for Dummies), I decided to Google the term, with and without spaces. I didn't find any new 101s, alas.

I did, however, find this lovely little post ignorant piece of ridiculous drivel by some random arsehole - someone who I hope spends the rest of their life stepping barefoot on cat-sick-drenched legos.

But they asked a question, and it's a question that I realise many straight people do see as being a legitimate one. Why would being straight make my opinion any less valid?

I'm answering, not for the OP, but for anyone open-minded and willing to think about this, and understand where my frustration is coming from.Collapse )

Fic: The Severed Head of Benjamina Bakersfield
lawful evil
Title: The Severed Head of Benjamina Bakersfield
Series: Port Carmila
Characters: Dave and Henry, Benjamina, Steve and Abe, hints of Ares
Genre: Paranormal/urban fantasy, romance, gay fiction
Status: Oneshot, complete
Rating: M
Content: The usual standards of Port Carmila, plus the absence of a body, observations on the portrayal of older immortals, swearing
Length: 6, 968 words
Summary: The busy wharf – occupied by zombies, vampires, merfolk, fae, Henry, and Steve Nakamura – was the strangest, most unique, most threatening place Dave had ever seen. The screaming shouts made by Port Carmila's resident disembodied head, however, made Dave wonder if this wasn't a place he could feel right at home.
Setting: Post Not So Cold, Either. (Please read this first!) I've decided that I'm going to rewrite the escapades at Pleasures from Dave's POV (sorry, Dave) and post that as a separate story (minus Raif and Parker and Georgina) to make this have a kind-of continuity – as well as making it all easier to understand.
Disclaimer: Dave's place of employment, Pleasures, belongs to theotherdibbler. Thank you, as always, for letting me play!

Begin Here | Previous | Tourist Information Guide

AN: saskia399 threw plunnies at me. Or rather, they were the zombie heads of plunnies, and we all knew what I was going to do with those, right? And now we have Benjamina, who seems so obvious a character that she should have existed several stories ago. (Particularly the Undead World Cup stories, alas…)

Aside – I had to add 'Benjamina' to Word's dictionary. WTF, Word?

There were no signs at this end of the foreshore advertising what was and wasn't allowed on the beach – but there was a head, cut off a couple of inches below the chin and nailed onto the post...Collapse )

This entry was originally posted here at Dreamwidth.

I found The Gilded Chain in K-Mart today, in the discount book section. $4. YES.

*tries to suppress the need to go to every other K-Mart in reachable distance to see if they have any of the other King's Blades books*

(And - LJ. I have lots and lots of stories I really want to catch up on reading, so would you please be good and stay online long enough to let me do so? Pretty please?)

Note to self: I do not need that 'u' in 'gild' when the subject is a matter of a metal coating, and not an organisation of professionals...

This entry was originally posted here at Dreamwidth.

Since this is becoming ridiculous...
Anyone over at DW? I'm theskimblishone over there, too.* Can I friend you so I can at least keep up a semblance of knowing how you all are going? :D Only being able to access LJ at 5 AM in the morning is becoming the pits. (And that's when my internet is even working...)

* For those who used to friend my old DW journal, the difference in user name was bugging the hell out of me because I'm weird like that...

dharma_slut made the really good point that we should all be backing up our blogs - and I know I'm really prone to editing my LJ posts so that my LJ copies of stories differ wildly from my word documents, which leaves me in a not-good situation should LJ fail. Unfortunately, I stopped importing this journal to my old DW quite a few months ago, and now, of course, it's impossibly hard to import. But this is a pretty good wake-up call and as soon as all this settles down, I'll be importing on a regular basis.

If anyone would like invite codes for DW, I have two. LMK. It's pretty much LJ, but minus the advertising, and with better all-round service.

I'll catch up when I catch up? *hugs everyone*

Fic: Not So Cold, Either
Title: Not So Cold, Either (or Revenge, Steve Nakamura Style)
Series: Not Nearly Strange Enough
Characters: Dave (AKA The Hapless Waiter at Pleasures), Henry (AKA Steve's Vampire Friend)
Genre: Gay fiction, romance, humour, kind-of-crack
Status: Complete, oneshot
Rating: M
Content: I bet there's never been a vampire quite like Henry. (Coming from me, this may be saying something.)
Length: 3, 081 words
Summary: Dave preferred to forget about the day he'd served a vampire at work. The vampire that turned up on his doorstep, courtesy of the customer's boyfriend, had other ideas…
Setting: After the close of Dave's Day of Hell where Georgina and Abe meet in Pleasures.
Disclaimer: Pleasures belongs to theotherdibbler Dildos; Dave and I are just borrowing the place for a while.

Begin Here | Previous | Next | Fic Master Posts

AN: Don't read this without having read Part Two of Not Nearly Strange Enough; it won't make the least bit of sense, otherwise. It's not quite speed-dating, mee_eep, but it's your fault regardless!

I'll be re-writing the above into a whole new story at some point, to explain how Dave met Steve, and everything else that happened. Think of this as book two in a trilogy where the first story's gone temporarily missing or something... *blushes* It's still mee_eep's fault, though.

This is a bit more Port Carmila-verse than the original, but given that the story this offshoots from never actually happened, this probably never happened either. (Yes, that's right. I'm writing a spin off from a crack crossover that never happened in the canon of both of my own serials that's also set in an AU of 'verse that's not mine – so also, fanfiction. It's not like that would ever stop me, though!)

Anyway, I was dropping into town, and Steve said I should come round...Collapse )

I don't get it.
This is a response to this post in the_slash_pile. I'm posting this to my journal, and not to the comm, because in the last few discussions I've seen on my flist, I'm getting the increasing feeling that this comm isn't always the right place for queer writers discussing queer writing issues and how queer people are represented and written in queer fiction - it's largely, or more focused on being, a more heterocentric discussion of slash. Some of the comments that get posted in discussions, without anyone commenting on the fail, make me feel quite a bit uncomfortable.

Warning for use of and discussion about a homophobic slur.Collapse )

slightly damaged human
Me being an awesomely hopeless klutz, I've managed to trip over my computer chair and put out my left hand to catch myself, as most normal people do ... and I'm sure you can all imagine just how much just an instant of taking my full weight hurt my wrist. *wails and curses*

I will return to your regularly-scheduled service (ah, snarking at Kevin Sorbo's pants) when the wrist finally stops hurting. Cross fingers for me, pretty please? I don't want or need more damage done right now...

That's all I need? Awesome!
From The Nefarious History of Motherhood:

Men, you see, were hot and dry. When they started retaining water, it was a bad thing. Women, though, were wet and cold (Freud, anyone?). If women became TOO dry or hot, they turned into men. Thus, the Athenian angst over the Spartan’s tendency to allow their women to exercise with the men. TOO hot, too dry. Spartan women were men, with breasts.

That's all I need to be acknowledged as a man? Hot and dry? AWESOME. Manhood with breasts, here I come! Now, if only the sun would come back out again and it'd stop drizzling...

In all seriousness, this is a fascinating and horrific read all about the way women's health and medicine were treated throughout history. I've spent way too many hours glued to my laptop reading this. Go. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday, charisstoma!
*glomp-hugs you*

I hope you have a simply super day, with lots of smutty fic, cake, djinn, and awesome presents heading your way. (I'm going to have to owe you a fic. I have an awesome idea I'm really looking forward to writing for you, but my wrists aren't playing nice. But it will come.) Relax and enjoy yourself - do you get the day off work?

*gives a few more birthday hugs, singing loudly and way out of tune*

I'm working on the long-overdue giftfic for abstract_whisk. It's a Magician 'verse fic involving March and Ero and I have, if I say so myself, come up with a wicked thirteen-word alliteration that a) only uses one word that doesn't start with the letter of choice, and that's a conjunction so it doesn't count; b) involves a swear word/mild perjorative, like every good Magician 'verse spell; and c) actually makes sense, grammatically and thematically.

Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back for a moment, can't you tell? :D

I already had over 2k written, and I've written another 2k today ... so this is turning out way longer than I planned, 'cause I'm not even close to finishing. With any luck I'll finish tomorrow and post on Monday sometime.

I'll catch up with everything properly tomorrow, I promise - I've just been so caught up in writing this evening, I've totally run out of time. *heads off back to the realm of alliteration and formerly naked elves and prodding muses*

Damn it...
Does anyone here know about Sylvanian Families? I'm a collector in hiatus, and back when I was actively collecting, there wasn't that much of an ebay presence, and I didn't have Paypal or credit card, so I couldn't buy from overseas - just drool. The Japan exclusive Sylvanian Families, many of them every collector's holy grail, were out of my reach and ability to buy.


I saw them again in stores a few weeks back (they're in stores, out of stock for a few years, in again - distribution is sparodic, here) and bought two babies on special on Sunday. (They were misspriced, so I actually got the first for free, even. Score!)

So ... you know, today I had a look on ebay ... and okay, a lot of it I can't justify affording, ever. The exclusives are way out of my budget. (Unlike my dolls, they are mass-produced, although pretty decent detailing and accessories for all that. And I'm still a cheapskate doll collector - the most I paid was $100 for my yet-to-be-photographed Urban Vita Edge, and I'm not doing that again in a hurry, or maybe ever.) But some of the single figures and babies I can afford, now that I have a job, and Paypal...


Deer Girl Sister | Acorn Mouse Sister | Chocolate Rabbit Baby | Sheep Baby - a grail of mine! | Tabby Cat Baby

I know, I know - they're as hetero/cis normative as all hell, but yet. SO DAMN CUTE. And - I have no space to add to my existing collection, which isn't small (not insane, but not fledgling by any means), so why the hell am I ebaying? Why am I adding up how much it'd cost to buy more SF babies, and can I squeeze them into my current displays? (Babies won't take up much space!) Why is my keyboard covered in drool? *wails*

My wrists are little achey today (although I get to start strengthening exercises) so I apologise in advance if I don't get to responding to everything tonight. I will, I hope, be working on two things this week - the birthday story I owe abstract_whisk from forever ago, and the Zombies in Space story theotherdibbler and mee_eep prodded into life by throwing plot bunnies...

Fic: The Differently Animated and Queer Society - A Birthday fic for Dibbs
Title: The Differently Animated and Queer Society
Genre: Humour, urban fantasy, romance, zombies totally are a genre
Status: Oneshot, complete
Rating: PG
Content: The differently animated, brain-flavoured cocktails, Louisa
Length: 3, 017 words
Summary: Pat's a little bit nervous about going to hir first DAAQS meeting, at least until ze gets to know a gorgeous zombie called Moon…

AN: Happy Birthday, theotherdibbler. *hugs* I hope you have an awesome, restful day, filled to the brim with all things zombie … I mean, differently animated. Especially if they're also ninjas. (Also, if you don't get to this straight away, I don't care. It's waiting for you when you've got time.) There is a more conventional birthday gift (you know, the kind that has a card and wrapping paper) on its way, but it'll take a few days to arrive, so you get this in the meantime. I've also been promising you zombie fic for some time now...

ETA: Looking at your gift fics today, Dibbs, I'm getting the distinct impression that we all know you like zombies. We'll do ninjas next year, everyone! :D

Hello! Welcome to the inaugural meeting of the Differently Animated and Queer Society! Would you like a Cranium Crush?Collapse )